


If Your Soul Would Always Be With Me, Mine Would Always Wait For You

by stinky_attic



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Ash Lynx Needs A Hug, Ash is dead, Freeform, Happy Ending, M/M, Okumura Eiji Needs a Hug, Post-Canon, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, all eiji wants is to see ash again, ash always waited for Eiji, eiji is old and dying, i miss them, of course he did, shorter is like barely there but he is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26022664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stinky_attic/pseuds/stinky_attic
Summary: Eiji is dying and all he can think about is the one person he wants to see againorAsh waited for Eiji to keep his promiseorbanana fish put my heart through a wood chipper and so i made this to make myself feel betteryes this is two parts even though its incredibly short because I don't know how to do this transition I want and want it to ~flow~
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 5
Kudos: 113
Collections: Banana Fish Short Stories/One-shots





	1. My Soul Will Always Be With You

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact I accidentally deleted this entire first part, but hopefully because I had to rewrite it, I am able to get it to the emotional point I want it to be at and that my impatience doesn't show through
> 
> Banana Fish ripped out my heart and put it in a wood chipper Fargo style and I will never forgive it
> 
> so here is my short little take on when they reunite because THEY DEFINITELY DO please let me believe

Laying down on his bed, he had an idea this would be the last time. The last time he sat up. His last time feeling the breeze ruffle his hair, and his curtains float through the room, making the light spotty as he took his afternoon rest. Something about the way his back didn't pop and his muscles didn't creak as he slowly brought his head to his pillow, felt like a message from his body that this was it. And Eiji was okay with that.

He had turned 81 a few weeks ago, and while blowing out the candle he had placed on top his convenience store cup cake alone, he decided that it was okay. That he was okay. That is was time. He tried to not think of it as he was ready to die, but more of he was ready to face Ash again.

When he was younger, he wondered if there was an afterlife and if Ash was there. Death scared him, but at the same time brought him the peace he needed. As the years went on, he became more and more certain that there was indeed an afterlife and that Ash was there. His question changed to, "Has Ash forgotten about me?" He was terrified that Ash had gotten caught up in the peace there that he had never felt before, that Eiji had become a distant memory. Perhaps even a lost one. Maybe even one he wanted to forget. There had been more than one time that Eiji was ready to test that theory, but the thought of if, just if, Ash was somehow waiting, the amount of pain it would bring him, that was not one Eiji wanted to test. As childish as it may sound, the thought of Ash's disappointment was sometimes the only thing that kept him going.

After that came the years that Eiji's grief turned to anger. He felt betrayed, he left lost, he felt left behind. What had Ash been doing that day? Why didn't he go see him off? Did he even open the letter that he had Sing deliever? Unanswered questions fueled his anger until he couldn't anymore. It was one night, nothing special about the night really but, he pulled out the photo of Ash he kept in his night stand, and he just began to cry. He cried in apology, and he hoped Ash would forgive him. Forgive him for being angry, and forgive him for not letting go.

Eiji believed that even thought Ash had left him, he didn't need to leave Ash. Sing told him he was being crazy, and Max told him that such loyalness to the dead would bring him nothing but pain. Besides them, no one chose to argue with Eiji. Now both are long and gone, and Eiji finds himself alone.

He began to lull into a peaceful sleep, listening to the sounds of the neighborhood children playing outside his window. He didn't feel much different than when he neared sleep before, but if he did have to say something was different, he would have to say that it was a little more peaceful than before. Maybe that was caused by his slowing breathes and his heart that followed suit, he was aware they wouldn't find a gentle rhythm and instead they would continue to slow until they stopped.

Eiji was more than ready to see Ash again, but he was scared Ash had forgotten about him. When he first heard the news, Eiji feared he would forget Ash's face. So, Eiji got a print, he didn't frame it, and it was simple and small, but it was of the one photo he had gotten of the two of them. It was slightly blurry, and Ash was in the middle of eating. Eiji tried to sneak the photo and Ash had acted like he didn't notice the camera. Acted, as Eiji put it, because without a doubt Ash had seen the camera, but for Eiji's sake never said anything.

A smile creeped it's way onto Eiji's face and he felt something roll down his face. It took him a moment to process, but he soon realized he was crying. A short breath left his nose. He cannot remember the last time he cried, but it now seems like an appropriate time to shed a few tears. He had never felt his eyes get wet, and it dawned on him. The light that was so bright above him, had become nothing but blurry static under his eyelids, and he knew. He was leaving.

Even if he wanted to turn back, to live another day, to try to make it to next year, he didn't have that choice. The weeks of medication, neglected and untaken, on his kitchen counter, and the calls from his doctor he had let go to voicemail told him so. It was time. It was time for him to go. He was ready, oh he had been waiting for this day for 60 years. To see his Ash.

He pictured the blonde, his hair always in his face, and he remembered reaching over the dinner table and brushing it out of his face, while Ash complained about the food being to salty. Ash's emerald eyes, that looked at him with such warmth and care, Eiji could completely forget those who had died while looking into that same pair. His gentle touches when he would brush by him, or when he hugged Eiji. He was so gentle, so kind, and selfless to such a fault. He was beautiful indeed, but he was the prettiest when he cried. There were few times Eiji felt like he had ever really, truly, seen Ash, and that was when he cried. The more he thought about him, the more he wished he could leave just a little faster.

Thoughts began to swirl his mind as the light above him dimmed away. All the thoughts from years spun like a whirlpool, his anxiety build with it, and he could barely feel it as his lungs began to heave.

What if there wasn't an afterlife? What if he waited for nothing? What if there was nothing? No Ash. No Shorter. No Max, there was no one at all. Alone. Emptiness. What if there was something, but what if he couldn't find Ash? What if Ash had forgotten about him? About the moment? About when he asked him to stay with him, about the night they got drunk with the pumpkins in the apartment he had bought with stolen money, about when he told Eiji he wanted to go to Japan with him? What if Ash hated him for making him wait? What if he felt forgotten?

A singular thought shot through his mind that helped calm the storm. He suddenly once again felt ready, even if he no longer felt okay. Because, if by some miracle Ash is waiting for him, he didn't want to make him wait any longer.


	2. Mine Would Always Wait For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LINES. I COULD HAVE PUT LINES AND MADE THE TRANSITION. I already posted the chapter and don't want to go back and edit this whole part in. HHH I feel dumb but im sleepy anyway have the happy part

It felt like he had just got here but at the same time he felt like he had known this nothingness for years. Time no longer existed and Eiji was struggling with the change. He tried to turn behind him trying desperately to get a grasp on his surroundings, but he couldn't move. He was nowhere and everywhere all at the same time. It was frightening, with so much and nothing happening at the same time Eiji couldn't process it all.

While trying to tame his quickly spiking anxiety and think clearly , he spotted a dim shadow of himself. He was still 81, old as ever, but just him. Like he was. He slowly turned toward the direction the light was shining from, and he found that he was in some type of tunnel. The light felt so far away, and he had no idea what it was coming from. However, with nothing, and what he imagined to already be dead, he moved toward the light.

At first he was moving at a turtle's pace, as fast as he could go, but he felt himself speeding up. The ache in him leaving, and he was running as fast as he could go. Startled, he stopped as the light grew bigger and he could finally see himself. Pausing to look down, he saw it. The wrinkles in his hands were gone, his skin no longer sagging from his arms. He was..he was young again. Shocked but a huge smile still flashed across his face, oh how it felt to be young again. He didn't know what came over him but almost as fast as he had stopped he was back running again. The light that had begun so small and so far away, was huge, and swallowing him whole. Fear rushed over him, surrounded once again by nothing, but nothing was blinding.

* * *

The flash. Ash had only seen it once before, and Shorter had seen it twice. They didn't know what it was, or why it happened, but they both knew what it meant. It meant someone had come home. 

Ash didn't hesitate to drop the video game controller he had been holding and burst out the door. He didn't know who it was, who it could possibly be that was so important to him that he saw the flash. The only other time he had seen it was when Max came home. He ran into the grass that surrounded the home, and he stopped for a moment. 

"Hey! Ash, what's the deal man?" He heard Shorter yell from behind him from the open door. Ash spun around in urgency and screamed his reply. 

"I saw it Shorter. I saw the weird, flashy thing. I swear to you I saw it." 

"Woah dude, calm down I believe you. Who...do you think it could be?" 

"I don't know Shorter, I don't know.." His voice got quieter until suddenly it hit him. There is only one person that was important enough for him to see it. But, wasn't it too early? No, it'd been 60 years, he could have come home any day now, but he had been trying so hard to not get his hopes up. Who knows if he even remembered him at this point, and if he would want to come home to him. Ash had no idea how this worked, no one did, but he had never found someone who wasn't also looking for him. If there was a chance he didn't want to find Ash as much as Ash wanted to find him, he never would see him again. 

"Ash, do you think it could be, you know?" 

"What if it's not?" 

"Go look, it'd be best to not get your hopes up, but who else would you want to see?" 

"Okay, okay," Ash nodded, before turning back again. He hesitated, where would he even begin? It's not like there was an arrow pointing to where they had ended up, and who know's when they would end up waking up and starting trying to figure out where they were. 

"Just start running Ash! whatever direction you go in is the right one!" Shorter yelled in encouragement. That was just the push he needed. Without any evidence of hesitation left, Ash started into a sprint. 

He ran for what felt like forever, but at the same time no time at all. He ran, and ran until he saw the hint of a coral colored sweater in the distance. He stopped to catch his breath, and examined the figure laying sprawled in the grass at the bottom of the hill. You see, where Ash was, was a wide open vast of land. Long grass, littered with flowers, filled all around him to the horizon, and nothing but the sounds of the wind bothered him here. Hills were beautiful and small, and made for great places to camp. It was completely peaceful here, both Ash and the land about him. He had found a small cottage, tiny but warm and homey, already completely furnished. It seemed less abandoned, and it had more of a feeling that it had been prepared.. Like it was waiting, and who it was waiting for was him. Ash found Shorter there soon after. Apparently he had seen a flash, dating to the day Ash came home, but it scared him so much he didn't leave his own place for days. The only odd thing about the cottage was that it wasn’t prepared for just one. It had been prepared for two. 

Ash studied the figure with the sweater, and he didn't know how long he had been standing there and staring at him, but he just couldn't bring himself to come closer. The face of the person was covered in the protection of the grass around him, but he could make out that it was most likely a man. With no warning, he sat up. His back was to Ash but the moment he spotted the jet black hair he knew. It was Eiji. 

Eiji had finally come home. 

Relief, happiness, love, emotions overwhelming him, and he remained frozen. Eiji didn't forget him. Eiji wanted to see him just as much as Ash wanted him back. Disbelief still tore at him, as he watched Eiji from the distance. At first Eiji didn't move again, just seemingly staring into the vast field around him. Then he brought up his hands and started patting himself down, like making sure he was really there. Ash let out a small laugh, he had done just the same when he first woke up. Besides instinctively reaching for his gun in his belt, that wasn't there. Eiji then felt the ground around him, and then he turned around. 

Eiji looked directly at Ash, and Ash drew in a sharp breath. Eiji was too far away, he couldn't make out what kind of facial expression he was making, but he was able to see as Eiji slapped himself in the face. Ash jumped a little at the motion, he didn't know what he was expecting but it certainly wasn't that. Then, Eiji did another thing that surprised him. He brought his knees up to his chest and buried his face in his arms. New worry found him, and he was able to move again. He ran down the hill, dodging little rocks he came across on his way, until he collapsed in front of Eiji. Eiji was crying. 

"Eiji" Ash whispered. 

"No..oh god no..please" Eiji cried out between hiccups. Hurt stabbed through Ash, but he quickly shook it off. There was no way Eiji would be here, in front of Ash, if he didn't want to be with him as well. He would have gone some place else. 

"Eiji look at me please," Ash asked gently, placing his hand on Eiji's bicep. Eiji's head immediately shot up, and for a moment his eyes stared at Ash, full of wonder and doubt, before Eiji completely tackled Ash. Ash, completely caught off guard, let the breath get knocked out of him, but he quickly regained his composure, and wrapped his arms tight around Eiji's waist. Neither of them said a word for a long while. In the end, it was Eiji who broke the silence. 

“It’s you, it’s really you,” He said, while lightly rubbing his face into Ash’s shoulder, taking in everything. 

"Why were you crying?" Ash finally asked.

"I didn't think it was really you. I don't know where I am, my best guess is that I have died, but the last thing I can remember thinking about was..you. I was convinced I was seeing things and that if I came closer you would disappear again." 

Upon hearing those words, he squeezed his arms a bit tighter around Eiji's waist, reassuring him that he was really there. 

"I still can't believe you are here," Ash muttered into Eiji's ear softly. 

"Likewise," Eiji replied, his voice breathy and almost gone. 

"I was so scared you had forgotten about me, it had been so long, and I was so worried I would never see you again, Eiji," Ash admitted, bringing his head up to push it into the crook of Eiji's neck. The feeling of Eiji finally in his arms, something he barely experienced while he was alive, felt so surreal. Eiji shot up, bringing himself into a sitting position on Ash's lap. 

"What do you mean forget about you? How in the world could I forget about  _ you.  _ In truth I was horrified you'd forgotten about me, or if you even wanted to see me again." 

Ash looked at Eiji in concern. Why would he ever think that he didn't want to see him? Eiji was his everything, and he was so sure that Eiji knew that. Ash opened his mouth to voice his thoughts, but Eiji continued. 

"I promised you Ash.  _ My soul will always be with you _ ." Eiji finished, brushing back the hair from his forehead and placing a gentle kiss on it. Ash's face flushed from the sudden display of affection and it was here that he finally processed that this was real. Tears began to fall from his eyes, and he cupped Eiji's face in the palms of his hands.

"Then my soul will always wait for you." Ash said before bringing his forehead to Eiji's. 

Eiji stared back at him, before letting out a hiccup and more tears began to fall from his own. They don't know how long they hugged, and just took the fact that they finally had each other in, but at some point Ash's eyes slid down from looking into Eiji's, to sneaking a glance at his lips. 

Eiji sniffed before letting out a small," Please."

That's all Ash needed before his lips were on Eiji's, and he wondered why he had never kissed him before. 

The kiss wasn't short, but it was soft, it was slow, and it was full of all the words they had never had the courage, the time or the place to say to each other. All the years of pain, of patience, of ache and grief washed away as they finally found that one thing they ever needed. Each other. 

There were no sparks, or fireworks when their lips met, but there was certainly a shiver of nerves on both parties that made their faces flush hot. When they finally parted, Eiji leaned down and bumped his nose gently upon Ash's and Ash smiled a smile larger than one he ever remembered smiling before. 

This time it was Ash's turn to tackle Eiji, they both let out loud laughs and they laid in each other's arms. Once again, silence swarmed them, but neither of them minded. Ash was the one who broke the quiet peace.

"Let's go home, Eiji." Eiji turned and looked down at Ash, before smiling a smile that reached his eyes. 

"Okay! Let's go home." 

They said it even though they both knew, they were already home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a little out there, but it's the afterlife so it was neat to mold it the way I wanted their future happiness to look. This is all I have planned for this, but someday I'd like to write a small extra with Eiji and Shorter's reunion. I hope this was enjoyable, even if it was just short and sweet. :D

**Author's Note:**

> things I shouldn't have done while writing this:  
> listen to prayer X the entire time  
> think about Ash and Eiji because that alone makes me sad
> 
> it is much shorter than it was before, but I cannot remember what was there before even though I started retyping RIGHT after I accidentally deleted it,,but I think its alright


End file.
